So, there were teens last night. Teens who are wolves. And yes, I have feels. Many of them, though I'm still not sure I've been able to sort them out and label them. Fairly sure I'm going to need a few more episodes at least before anything really gels. (But yay, Teen Wolf! Also all praise Hoechlin's willingness to squeeze himself into a tight pair of jeans.)
So I was thinking about pride yesterday. Pride has such an ugly connotation--all deadly sin and cometh before a fall and all that. I suppose that the more positive term is self-esteem, but that doesn't really work when you're talking about having pride in stuff you've created.
The point is, I'm freakin' proud of Wash Me Clean
. I did so much bitching and whining about it while I was writing that I just wanted to put that out there. I know it's got one of those hard boundaries for fandom, but damn it, I love what I did with that story. I like my prose and I like how I built the relationship and I like the way I inverted the power between them and I freakin' love the sex.
Dude. I actually enjoyed
writing the sex for this story. I think maybe it's because I gave myself a lot of freedom when I was writing each scene. There was always a point I wanted to get in there--usually some slip on Derek's part--but after that, it was all whatever felt right. Fade to black was fine, orgasms were fine. And I think it was also because Derek just wanted it *so much*. He reveled in being with Stiles, and that was just intensely enjoyable to write.
I'm actually pretty proud of everything I've written in Teen Wolf so far. Half of them have been workhorse stories--Birthday Boy, That's What Friends Are For, Miss Fanny Bright, Ticket To Ride--but I think they're solid. Nothing to look back on and be embarrassed about. Three of them are definitely among the best I've ever written--Wash Me Clean, Words Whispered By Firelight, and he pushed inside and made me new--and I kinda think Not Quite the Bradys belongs on that list too, even if it's not the kind of story that should make you sit back and go "whoa."
So anyway, I just wanted to put that out there. For my future self, mostly, but also because I'm reminding myself I don't have to be ashamed of being proud.
I've been thinking about where to go next with my writing. I feel like I could go ahead and finish up 2nd Chances without it being horribly out of touch with the fandom, even though it's definitely jossed. I'm not sure if I even want to work on Sterek stuff, though, because I really got my story for them done with Wash Me Clean.
I do have the intoabar
fic to write. And I also signed up for Teen Wolf Big Bang, with the intention of writing one of my AUs. And I have the Criminal Minds-Anita Blake fusion to play with.
I've also been kicking around the idea of trying some original fic, maybe with the intent of putting stuff out there on Amazon. My problem is I have no idea what I'd like to write. Probably along the lines of paranormal romance, even though I know that market is flooded. Eh, whatever.
My problem is my ideas are always character-driven. I get attached to a character, then I want to write about them. Since I don't have a character to start with, I'm kinda lost. I've talked to A. about this a few times, and we kind of came up with the idea of starting with seed characters from shows I like. In other words, I love Ellen Harvelle, but the Ellen who lives in my head really isn't the same character who is on screen. She's more aggressive sexually, she's less defined by her family connections, and she's more on the move (instead of sitting back with her bar all the time). Who that character is outside the Supernatural universe, I don't really know--but that would be the point. Creating a new world and a new character out of this little seed.
I started making a list yesterday at lunch of characters I'd like to explore more in this way, and it went something like this: Officer Kathleen (from SPN), Morgana, Morgause, Gwen, JJ Jareau, Missy Cooper (one-shot character from the Big Bang Theory), Lucy Genaro, Kate Freelander, Diana Barrigan, Melissa McCall, Tara Maclay.
I think that pretty much says everything.
(I even stretched for a moment to try to come up with a male character I might want to write. "Come on, who's your favorite? Derek Hale! ...oh, hell no.")
I have no idea of anything will come of this nattering, but things are percolating. We'll see.